Music was one of the top things that helped me during my divorce.
Music has so much power to affect your mood. Scientists have found that enjoyable music causes the release of dopamine and lifts your spirits. And I can tell you from experience, it really does.
Now, don’t go and make a playlist of depressing songs and drown yourself in a bottle of wine as Hollywood likes to show us. Avoid the classic “All By Myself” Bridget Jones moments! It won’t do you any good. It will only make you depressed and trigger painful thoughts.
The key is to choose music that you can enjoy, something fun or songs that make you feel powerful. You’ll want to pre-make a playlist ahead of time so it’s ready to go whenever you need to shift your mood or get out of your negative thoughts.
I am going to share with you the exact playlist I made during my separation and divorce to give you some ideas. Every time I was stuck in my head, perpetuating my own misery, I threw on my headphones and walked around the neighborhood playing this list on repeat.
1. Katy Perry – Roar
This song reminds me that I have a voice and I need to take back my power. I tried to do everything “right”, I walked on eggshells, I was a people-pleaser. No more!
2. Natasha Bedingfield – Unwritten
I love Unwritten because it’s all about writing your own future. No one else gets to write it, your life and your future are all your own. Your story is not over, the next chapter is just beginning and you get to write it.
3. Elton John – I’m Still Standing
I’m so strong. I’m getting through this mess. I’m walking down the street with my head up and a badass attitude. I’m still standing!
4. Andy Grammer – Keep Your Head Up
Love this feel good song. Andy reminds us that if we keep our heads up, everything will turn out fine. And guess what, it will!
5. Amy Winehouse – Tears Dry On Their Own
This one might not be for everyone, buy helped me to stand up, wipe my own tears, and take a bad situation and turn it into growth. The video for the song also has special meaning for me. After my ex left, I walked this same crowded and crazy stretch of Hollywood Boulevard in tears, left in this new city on my own. “Should have been my own best friend.” – Amy
6. Patty Smyth (Scandal) – Goodbye To You
This one speaks for itself. Remember, there were good times, but there were also bad times too. Don’t put your ex on a pedestal.
7. Kelly Clarkson – Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)
It’s better to be alone than with the wrong person. You will come out of this stronger. With your whole life ahead of you, you can do anything you want! No permission needed.
8. New Kids On The Block – Remix (I Like The)
Okay, so I’ve been a huge New Kids fan since middle school. No shame in that. I absolutely love this song. After my divorce, I really transformed and came into my own for the first time. And yes, after 40 you are sexy and desirable.
9. Paolo Nutini – New Shoes
When your old life and clothes don’t work anymore, put on some new shoes and step out. I was surprised at the memories attached to my old clothes, plus they didn’t match the new me I was becoming. Buy a new dress or top (or shoes), it will make you feel more confident and lift your spirits!
10. James Morrison – I Won’t Let You Go
This isn’t a breakup song or an anthem. It’s my favorite love song of all time. It’s about the kind of partner I want in my life. Someone who will stick by my side when times are tough. It gave me hope and reminded me to never settle for anything less.
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